A Parting Word about Michael Jackson's Soul

Today I join with the millions around the world to take a break and comment on the life and times of Michael Jackson.

Yes, his music was electric and his performances dynamic. And his personal life was tinged with distortions from what most people would consider normal. His was not a story that most of us could have lived, nor would we have wanted to. His death has done exactly what a lot of his music did: unite millions of people in moments of oneness.

There is no way any of us can understand the bizarre things he did throughout his life, no more than we can understand how one guy gets the talent that others dream of. We also cannot understand how fame distorts the perceptions, motivations, and dreams of people. What exactly drives a person whose death is felt in waves around the entire globe? Why has his death touched so many? And is there anyone else whose death would be felt this strongly?

Michael Jackson showed that he had a soul that was beyond his early age when he first appeared on the stage for the world to see. His energy and smile transcended his physical age. He was able to perform and we, the audience, surprised at his ability and talent, were held captive as we addressed our own questions of whether this style of music was fleeting or here to stay. Regardless of our opinions regarding the boy, we were held captive at some time or another in his youthful performances.

With the years of his music production and his energetic and magnetic performances, the general public begin to split on its opinion of Michael Jackson. Many continued to be moved by his music, not so much because of the depth of the lyrics, but because he literally moved. One couldn’t watch him without wondering how he did it or without tapping a foot and secretly wondering if he were even human. Others, because of the unsettling physical changes apparent in him, became more despondent in their interest. Yes, he was an interesting character and a talented performer, but geez, what a weirdo.

And that’s where this entry picks up.

The soul pushes us to do things. It is that part of each of us which is connected with the divine (regardless of what we call the divine). The soul is alive and well within each living person and it is that which nudges us to create, to move, and to evolve. The problem with our following the soul’s guidance is that we have no way of knowing just where it will take us. What we want and what is best for us are rarely identical. That’s not necessarily a bad thing; it’s just a thing. Our souls are always, always working for the greater good of the individual and of humanity as a whole. It wants little more than to remind us we are all connected and to have us become as aware as possible in this lifetime so that our entire species can become more conscious around the planet.

There is no doubt in my mind that the intents of Michael Jackson throughout his life were to make music and make money, but I must add here that I would wager to state that his soul had a much bigger undertaking. I believe his soul (and yes, he had one) knew that the physical body housing it could reach a lot of people. And I mean A LOT. So the soul set itself to work inspiring this person to create the music, to push the limits, to expand people’s understanding of dance and then to challenge basic thoughts and knee-jerk reactions that were hard-wired into who we were as a nation and as an earth-resident through his questionable ethics and morals.

Because the soul works behind the scenes and is always trying to remind us of our oneness and of our intent to evolve, his soul created a single unifying expression: music. People everywhere are moved by music. His soul was quite successful in this endeavor. It seems that most everyone alive has enjoyed a shared time with another because of music and specifically here, Michael Jackson’s music. And because the soul is always working to evolve us as human beings, his behaviors, actions, and family-life, challenged our morals, and what we consider sacred in our own lives.

Many lost interest in Michael Jackson as he morphed in full view of us: he lost his “blackness” and became more angular, and well, more “white.” Some of us hated that. Others hated that he had questionable relations with young boys. Others decided he had gone off the deep end with his bizarre residence or his treatment of his children or his spontaneous marriages or his love of a primate or his … the list goes on. But what it did to us was to challenge us to make a decision about what we thought. It brought things to our own awareness that otherwise would have gone unnoticed. He made us face things with his own choices.

I believe his was a soul in turmoil. I believe his behaviors came from a place deep within that no one really knew, not even Michael Jackson. I believe we witnessed his turmoil through those behaviors that unified us in a stance for or against him in many different times throughout his life. The chaos that his physical self showed us was the direct result of a soul that refused to rest. If the soul pushed for change and growth, his showed us the results of another operation or of his fathering a child. If his soul pushed for him to create something that would unify the people, he produced more music or he proceeded with actions that would stand us firmly against him. Regardless, he did what he was supposed to do.

The positive contributions by this man will remain a legacy to all. The number of people that he influenced and inspired is probably so monumental that we couldn’t understand it anyway. His music paved the way for many around the world to continue to learn and grow through music. And the negative things he did, even if they were distorted by the media, were equally as important because those events, those actions and consequences, forced us to look at and make a decision about how we felt as individuals about a man, his music, and where we stood as individuals.

We must follow the nudge of the soul as we creep through this life. The soul will never push us to a place that is not our highest place to be. If we go to a place that is not our highest selves, we can rest assured we didn’t follow the soul in the getting there, but instead we followed the voice of society, the ego, or our own desire for fame. The soul will give us multiple opportunities to grow and learn and we have to recognize those. We have to know that our souls would never want us to distort our physical bodies, but instead, want us to care for them. Our souls do not want us out of full health, but instead, want us to remember what health means; that our physical, emotional and spiritual selves are all unified. Our souls do not want us to choose sides, further segregating us, but instead to remember we are all one.

As the media fan-fare dies down and Michael Jackson is laid to rest, we should realize that finally, there is peace within this man. This man of a hundred faces, whose name is recognizable in most every nation around the globe, whose actions over the years caused discomfort in our own belief systems, can finally find peace. I believe he did exactly what he came to do: impact a world, and cause people to think.

Let us not get caught up in only Michael Jackson’s contributions to the world of music and elevate him to saint-like status. Let us not forget the questionable things he did and the way the media, and we, violated his privacy as we demanded to know more about him. Let us begin to peer into that face that is splashed all over the headlines everywhere and peek behind the lyrics of the man. Let’s look into the body that housed a soul, which wanted only to see people as one, but knew not how to do this. Let us all allow our own judgments to fall away as our own souls blossom forth and begin to accept everyone as they are: imperfect humans playing host to souls of perfection.

We Desired this Economic Crisis!

I know that’s a tough one to consider. We desired this economic crisis? Is there any truth at all to this?

            I see that the world around me has become mired in materialistic quests that yield just what people set out to attain, and yet they are left more miserable and lacking than before. I see that the media plays a part in the convincing of each person that people are incomplete unless they meet the standards set by a society (which is in fact the media’s definition) that is so far removed from reality it’s quite alarming. I see that people mindlessly buy into what they see on magazine covers, what they watch on television, and what they believe is the reality of people all around them. I believe the truth is that most are playing parts based on what they believe others are doing instead of what’s actually going on.

            Americans’ belief that we must have more is what has led us to this current crisis. Our souls—the buried-deep parts of each of us that long to be recognized, respected, revered—are speaking right now. It is time we listen.

            The soul is the essence of who each of us is. It is the part of us that is connected with whatever we believe is divine. Whichever deity fits your particular lifestyle, that’s who your soul is connected with. If you are without a deity, it’s the highest you, you can be.

            Life bombards us daily with excess. The excesses do not appeal to the soul but to the ego. The ego is the humanness of ourselves that includes at least three parts: the personality we have created based on our own beliefs about life, whatever groups we identify with, and our current roles in life (occupation, position in family, etc.).

            The soul, on the other hand, is that still part that resides deep inside that nudges us from time to time to explore other options, to examine our relationships, or to create something. It totally is disconnected from the ego. What happens is that people lose touch with the soul and forget what the voice sounds like. Instead, they begin to hear the voice of the commercials, see the headlines of the pop magazines or the news, and feel like society’s standards are accurately displayed through the media. This places each person in a position to perpetuate the myths of perfection through jobs, appearances, relationships and the like. Unfortunately, this further silences the voice of the soul.

            Does this cause the soul to pack up its intent and move away?

            No.

            The soul rears its head to tell us to make changes. And what is the soul connected to? It is connected to the divine, the infinite, the invisible forces of the universe and that connection is always there. And does the divine ever cause us harm? No. Is the divine always acting from a place of love for us without condemnation? Yes. And if our souls are connected (and they are) then our souls can cause no harm but only love.

            The soul speaks often but we won’t listen. The soul needs to be heard, but we feel we haven’t the time for “soul searching” because we all have life to live and no time for anything that takes away from our quest for more things or higher paying jobs.

            Wrong.

            The soul is the highest part of each person and it knows what should happen and the way we all should live. It will create the space, the opportunity, time and time again for us to make changes, to recalibrate ourselves so that our human selves can live in more synchronicity with our souls. And when we live from that soul level, we truly feel happiness.

            And this is how we have created this current economic crisis, how we desired for it to happen.

            We got so caught up in getting bigger houses, more stuff. We have shoveled material things into a bottomless void. We hoped to clog up the bottom with our stuff but we found out that no matter how much stuff we put in, there’s always a leak: a desire for more.

            Our souls began to whisper to us that the excesses are unessential but we didn’t listen. Our collective conscience kept telling us to buy more, spend more, get bigger, newer, more improved gadgets, and all the while the soul is shrinking back but never giving up, urging us to reconsider. Our souls said to us, “These things could afford some opportunities for joy but they are things. Joy comes from inside.”

            Our souls, working from our highest selves, our greatest good, as connections to what we believe is the divine, had to do something to get our attention. Our egos created the mess, and now our souls are just beginning to be heard.

            With loss of jobs comes a return to some basic survival issues. We begin to evaluate what is superfluous in our lives. We look at what corners we can cut, what “excess” we truly do not need, and we realize we have been expending a lot of energy toward places and things that didn’t hold our highest selves in reverence. Many have stepped back and said that there is nothing they can do and are waiting on some outside mythical force to come along and save the day. But for many (and in fact, anyone who is willing to admit the truth), this particular crisis has become not a crisis at all but a blessing.

            We have a responsibility to own in our current economy. It is time we stop blaming the lending companies and the government. It is time we take responsibility for our part in buying into this whole mess. It is time we realize that our unthinking is what got us here. It is time we own our truths.

            We are the ones who have allowed ourselves to be persuaded by what society shows us to be important. We have lost our own morals and values, traded them for some media-defined set instead. We watch what is supposed to be entertainment on television or at the movies and we allow ourselves and our family to be duped into buying into their version of right and wrong.

            And for many, we condemn the television as a result of lack of morals but watch it anyway.

            It’s nothing we can blame anyone else for anymore. It’s time to own our part and move forward, not backward from here.

            When people’s lives and livelihoods are threatened, they instinctively go back to the most basic modes of survival. This is the unevolved way of our animal instincts. Fight for food, protect the young, and run away if we know we cannot win. But we have moved so far past this in this lifetime. We cannot digress to the caveman-with-big-stick-waiting-by-the-door-to-ambush-the-next-trespasser way of thinking. We must hold on to that which has evolved within our human spirit and remain connected to others and to the divine in order to pull ourselves from the pits.

            Our responsibility in all of this is ours. We, collectively as a society, have done this to ourselves. We may not have said, “Oh, I want to lose my job.” But we needed to examine our lives. Some of us are only doing this for the first time in our lives. And others are re-evaluating yet again what is important; what needs to stay which is serving us well, and what things are taking away from our joy or causing us discomfort. In examining our lives, we find that our souls have nudged us from time to time to make changes and we have often failed to listen. We find that there were things about that job we just lost that had kept us down, held us back, or just stifled something about us. We find we have been freed of some of the shackles that held us. We secretly celebrate the taste of that freedom before we announce to the world just how unlucky we are in being suddenly unemployed. And then what do we do?

            Do we begin immediately counting our blessings, reconnecting with our families, having open and honest conversations with those around us, sharing the pain and fear of change? No, our egos tell us otherwise. Our egos tell us to blame, point fingers, and wait for handouts.

            The universe (your God or whatever your belief system) does not work in negative ways. The universe is good. Your responsibility in this is, in fact, to begin with gratitude. You must announce the wonderful blessings that you do receive in your life. You must announce to the world all the things that you have to be grateful for as you begin a search for new life. This is when the universe will begin to support you.

            No need to turn it all over to the universe because then nothing happens. You must move yourself and your energy forward in order to begin the process. You must search within your soul to understand who you truly are and then begin to clean out the parts that lie within the ego that simply aren’t you. And it’s time to start now.

            The universe is benevolent and only works in support of the true you, your highest self, the soul.

            The economic troubles that surround us today are hints from the universe, from God, and from the soul that it is time for us to go deeper and make a shift away from what we have allowed to become the standards and toward a higher purpose. It is time for us to take responsibility for the growth and evolution of our souls. It is time for us to devote time and energy to understand our connections, the coincidences in life, and the invisible currents that lead us to our situations we find ourselves in. It is time to become more aware of the behind-the-scenes activities that always serve to make us better people. It is time for us to realize we did, in fact, desire this economic crisis so that we could re-evaluate our lives and make changes for the better.

            We must start today.

 

Manifest Destiny: A New Definition

For some reason not at all clear to me, the words manifest and Manifest Destiny have danced around in my head this morning. In pursuit of just what this might mean in a larger sense, I think of what they mean to me first.

The term manifest means to make it obvious, or to show it. We do manifest our daily lives based on our thoughts and perceptions, our actions and our words. I believe this. I know if I awaken to a tumultuous feeling regarding what I do not like in my world, I simply need to go within to sort things out and change the thinking patterns in order to create the space for a more positive approach to appear. When that positive energy inhabits the area, good things will happen. Often the shift is as easy as replacing a knee-jerk response of “Crap!” with “Thank you universe for allowing me the chance to grow with this new challenge.”

The term Manifest Destiny sounded to me like a piece of literature so I quickly thought that I might need to read it. Then when I looked for it, I realized it was a time in history instead. It had to do with U.S. expansion of territory during the 19^th century.

Then I consulted Webster about manifest and found what I believe is somewhat relevant … apparent to the senses … evident, obvious, clear, plain … reveal … as a noun it means the listing of the contents of cargo or passengers. Then I went to manifestation and found “a form in which a being manifests itself or is thought to manifest itself, esp. the material or bodily form of a spirit.”

Well, isn’t this interesting? I have of late been attracted to the Neale Donald Walsch books because they show how God manifests himself in us and we manifest him through our thoughts. My own book (currently in publication entitled: Journal to the Center of the Soul) is how the manifestation of Death in a physical form acted as a teacher to a seeking woman named Lila. And the name Lila actually means “the play of the goddess Shakti that creates the world out of sheer delight … creation or emanation of worlds … outcome of creative play activities of God and his devotees.” And can’t we use manifest and create interchangeably in some cases? Nice.

I don’t believe it takes rocket science-knowledge to see this connection or to know why it is I was moved to write the words manifest or manifest destiny at the top of this page.

My understanding of what many call “God” is so much larger than any religion has ever been able to define it. I was turned off by the roles he played, the commands he gave, the fear people held in response to his threats of damnation. I never bought into it all. I understand the symbolism of the word God throughout all the ages, all the traditions, all religions, and all of history. I would offer the definition here of the word God as that which is beyond the appropriate reach for accurate definition but which, being genderless, is present as energy within anything that lives. That’s the Laurie-definition.

For today with my urge or nudge to write manifest upon this computer screen, I feel a push by that same God-force (I am uncomfortable still, to this day, calling it God) or the universe, to explore. Only through writing can I properly explore. Let me rephrase this as well: Only through writing can I properly allow the space for the universe to push the words through me and onto the paper. Times like this, I cannot say exactly where the words come from. There is no exact place. I do not sit and ponder what will come from the end of my hands next, or from my mind, I simply begin, and the words appear.

And this takes me back to manifest. Is there a certain amount of trust and faith required to manifest anything? Do we need to know where we are going in order to arrive there? Or do we begin the journey and allow the path to manifest before us? Do we take the step and have the platform manifest itself? Do we jump and the parachute manifests itself in response to our courage to move?

And conversely, do those of us who are petrified of doing anything that would cause any discomfort to anyone manifest more discomforts simply because they are petrified?

So all of that leads me to this: Can you manifest your destiny? Can I manifest my destiny? Will all people manifest their own destinies in this world?

If we are ruled by the media and we buy into their fear-based tactics of relaying news, if we watch the garbage available on television and allow ourselves and more frighteningly, our children, to think that what is shown there is completely acceptable, and if we continue to buy into the materialism of this society, then isn’t it scary to see the future we are all collectively manifesting for humanity?

But what if we will stop when we get a flicker of a word, like manifest, and spend some time on it? What if we allow the space for the universe to communicate through us what the word could mean? What if we take a minute of our precious day to look up a word that comes to us as an admirer and sits across the room watching us? Will we dare to acknowledge its presence? Do we have the courage to approach it to see why it sits there? What kind of world would we, could we, create if we but allow these moments of God to manifest into an essay, a piece of music, a creation of art, a new recipe, or anything else that arises from what we, just moments before, thought was nothing?

We are at a critical time in our lives as inhabitants on this earth. We are at a critical time for the hope of the children. We no longer allow for silence where the words of the eternal spirit—call it what you want—can speak to us. We cannot stand a moment alone in quiet thought. We refuse to get to know our thoughts; we are unable to discern the voice of our highest self from those tapes that were recorded through endless hours of filling spaces with violence, mistrust, fear, and hatred that comes through the media, the movies, the music, and the television. Where are we headed if this is what we are pulling from in order to manifest our destiny?

Yes, today is a new day; a day that is going to be whatever I manifest for me.  And what if, just what if, I am manifesting love, compassion and generosity? How will that change your day if you are manifesting more fear? Will my destiny be affected by your desire for your own destiny? Can those of us like me, who choose to manifest a destiny of peace, create enough peace to alter the energy around you? That I do not know.

What I do know is that I commit from this day forward to allow the space, the time, the nudge, from wherever it comes, in the form of a dream, a thought, a random word floating around in my consciousness, to manifest itself. I will allow the soul, the highest expression of who I could ever be, to guide the way because it is my soul that is connected with the eternal spirit, the universe, and yes, to God. I will manifest my destiny. And as many are also evolving at the same rate as I, together we will manifest a destiny that will reach so much higher and appeal to so many more people than what is currently manifesting all around us. My shift will cause a shift in someone, somewhere.

Let’s manifest a destiny of love, peace, compassion, and kindness and let fall away the destiny of fear that holds so many people shackled prisoners to life.

Mirror, Mirror

The two kinds of work, shadow and mirror, bring different challenges to us throughout our seeking lives. Do we escape the real world to search our inner selves through the work of the shadow? Or do we use our relationships and interactions to explore the mirror? Each can certainly benefit us. The biggest difference between the two is that shadow work is mostly done alone and mirror work, like it or not, has to be done within the self through reflections gleaned from others.

Shadow work is tough. That’s when a person decides to explore the dark parts of the self, the part that gets in the way when things don’t go smoothly or the parts that trip us when things are going well. Shadow work, the way I have understood it, takes place by choice. I picture a deep, dark cavern within the self. That cavern has been safely closed off for years. The cavern sometimes has a loose stone or something else that alerts you then tells you, “Hey there’s something in there!” We dodge the opening, we bump into the wall from time to time but we dare not go inside because it’s dark and scary! So we avoid it.

  After some time, years, decades perhaps, we decide to see what it is that is inside. So we get our heavy duty flashlight and we step barely inside. Or perhaps we push the cover of the opening aside. If it’s boarded up, we might remove the boards one at a time, at our own will. When we tire of it, we leave it. Even removing a single board can be exhausting. And with the removal, sometimes it’s more like an avalanche; the cavern’s contents to come spilling out.

So as the days, weeks, months, years go by, we stop from time to time and peer inside. Again, when we feel the time is right, we get the flashlight. The thing about shadow work is that with the flashlight, we see things, scary things. But if we don’t like what we see, we don’t have to look at them. We can take the flashlight away and convince ourselves there is nothing there to fear. And that might work for a while. Then if it’s a big monster, there is always the chance that our blinding light awakened it and if that’s the case, we will never be the same. That big monster will not go back to sleep!

  Through shadow work, we take our time, illuminating each corner and crevice at our own pace. We can spend as much time as we like carefully unpacking the contents of each and every box we find stowed within its walls. It’s a lovely, opening experience. And as the cavern glows with luminosity, we can smile and warm to its objective of having kept all this safe all those years. We then begin to enjoy going into the cavern to explore and reminisce. We are careful to throw out that which no longer serves us, that which is too painful to keep. We are free to wrap and box up the things that might be dangerous but that we are inclined to collect for whatever reasons.

It’s very nice to explore our own caverns through shadow work.

  But the mirror?

  Wow. As we all know, relationships act as mirrors in our lives. They reflect back to us the faults and weaknesses, the areas in need of improvement. And as both gazers and holders, we have a dual job: hold the mirror up for the other person, and look around the mirror we hold, into the one our partner holds.

  This is different from shadow work in so many ways. Unlike the shadow, we have no choice when we get the reflection or when we suddenly find ourselves hoisting up some colossal mirror that seems like it’s from ancient castles. Other times, it’s a small, compact mirror that simply flashes up the reflection and then is put away for another time.

  Sometimes, we are moving right along in our routine we call life and as we round a corner, this huge thing is in our path. It halts our progress and we are stuck peering into some monster—oh wait, that’s me!

  Other times, we feel like we are the punching bag of a verbal tirade from our partners and just when we almost buy into what he or she is saying, we realize we are trying with all that we are to hold this mirror so he or she can properly see who is being fussed at. As we walk away from the conversation, we almost accept that it is us who is lacking in integrity, who is not forthright, who is somehow deficient then as we create space, the lights come on. What we realize is that it is muscle tension from holding the mirror. We rub our shoulders, sit and contemplate for a few minutes and we realize the words the other person uttered were not at us after all.

  And here is a good time to remind ourselves that we play roles in life. One of our best roles is that of mirror holder. It’s an imperative job, one that we truly cannot avoid. Our mates do not always like the mirror holder! And regardless of how often we think we hold the mirror, the mate holds it just as much.

  This applies to so much more than partner relationships. This applies to parent-child, friend-friend relationships as well. These people came into our lives for reasons of growth and evolution; it is up to us to figure out what needs to be healed.

  Sometimes we want to turn our backs on what the mirror holds for us. We want to believe with all that we are that that couldn’t possibly be an accurate depiction of us. We often want to escape the idea that we are one intricately connected universe of energy and thought and that the people in our lives are actually there for a purpose. We would rather fall back into former thought that our lives are individual, dual in nature. We would rather believe we are masters of control and power.

When we least suspect it, in the middle of a disagreement, we get that very quick flash of light that is reflected from someplace far away. It blinds us momentarily, long enough to stop our riddling of words toward someone we love and respect. We turn to find the origin and instead, we see a sliver of a mirror showing a very small piece of ourselves. And behind that mirror is the person we thought we were angry with, holding it ever so gently, while we scream and yell.

  At this point, we remember who we are and who we were meant to be.

  Yes, I will say that today, my vote is that mirror work is a greater challenge than shadow work. Shadow is invited and made to feel safe and comfortable while we get to know it. Mirror work on the other hand, can cause casualties of unsuspecting people on the course for understanding. 

May we all have the strength to peer into and accept what we see reflected back to us. And may we each have the wisdom to realize when we are holding the mirror for someone else, and know that we are doing so.

  Mirror, mirror on the wall … 

Suffering

Today I scan the news for a hint of something good, something upbeat, something slightly less than depressing. What I find is death and destruction, Swine flu outbreak, cutting of Pontiac and 21,000 jobs, and more suicide. I close the page. I want to escape the idea that we are entrenched in suffering or that we cannot escape it. I decide to walk.

As I walk, I realize a few points of interest. Suffering is a choice. Peace and happiness are also choices. Life as we know it and understand it, is also a choice. If there is any part of this which is debatable, I would like to hear it.

A guy killed his kids, wife and himself, after he "reportedly" mismanaged somewhere upwards of 20 million dollars that belonged to others. How does one get that deeply entrenched in suffering? Believe me, I have no problems with understanding suicide. I do believe that is an escape from suffering of the grandest scale. But how does one's picture of life get so torqued that he must murder his family before taking his life? Amazing.

I hear that America is now "watching" the Swine flu. And the restructuring of the major auto makers. And the governmental money. And the banks.  So are we to believe that the media simply wants us informed? Or do they want to invoke more fear? 

Through fear we suffer. When we fear we have no control, when we fear for our jobs, when we fear for our loss of status, money, power, we create suffering within us. It is there. It is tangible, it is palpable and it is threatening us to our very cores. But what can we do? What must we do to escape it?

And that's the catch.

We, as a society, feel we can do little to escape the suffering. But we can.

We can choose peace over chaos, in the middle of chaos and despite the chaos. All it takes is a bit of discipline. We can choose to be happy, joyful, grateful, even in the face of adversity. We choose grace and when we do this, we create the space for more grace to flood in. When we choose fear, suffering, and other limiting negative options, we invite more of the same.

Can we escape suffering? Like can we live in a way that will totally and completely leave no room for suffering? No. Nor should we desire it. Suffering is a way to help us to grow. Suffering can come upon us on a dark night without a notice, yet it can leave in the same way. We can see it, recognize it for what it is, and invite it inside for a spell. We can then turn to it, get to know it, choose to befriend it, then watch it soften as we pour love upon it. Yes, we can choose to love our suffering because it has come to deliver a message.

Today I challenge you to get to know your suffering, your pain, and your deep fears. 

Susan Boyle: A Metaphor for all Souls and Evolving Consciousness

Susan Boyle. Literally, she’s been an overnight video sensation. On every television and news station in the past few days, she cannot be avoided. Susan Boyle. I watched the number of views go from slightly over one million to something like over eighteen million in only four or five short days. How can this be?

For one, it cannot go unmentioned that she represents those within the population who does not have the “total package” we are conditioned to think one needs in order to make it. Past her twenties, not strikingly gorgeous in the physical sense, not anorexic, she comes from a place that represents a much larger population. What is the big pull of the world to view Susan Boyle’s clips? Why is the world suddenly so interested in her?

A magnificent and unexpectedly perfect voice came forth when she began that song that night. But many people have voices that wonderful. Could it be that Susan Boyle has something else, which is beyond what the world consciously understands at this time? Stay with me here people; I think I am on to something.

You see, we have a revolution in consciousness going on right beneath the surface of the material obsession we like to call society. Our American society is at a crossroads: our economy shows the slippery slope we have been living on lately; our new president has proved we are ready for a new America; the new polls and studies show that now an unprecedented sixteen percent of America no longer identifies with any religion. What is going on? And what has it to do with the sensation of Susan Boyle?

We are all souls having a human incarnation. Surely you have heard this before. Deepak Chopra has said it many times; it is echoed within the writings of more and more well-respected spiritual leaders throughout the world.

You see, the soul does not work according to the rules that usually govern American society. The soul does not care what society has which rules anywhere on the planet. Soul is so much more than people, feelings, events, or things. And it isn’t simply God either. God has been mistreated for far too long, his name misused, misrepresented, and misunderstood; I cannot even use it to explain the meaning of soul here.

And what does this have to do with Susan Boyle?

My friend and I have talked about the phenomena for days now. Her idea was that people are pulled for some unknown reason toward Susan Boyle’s videos, interviews, and her story. She believes the song also has significance. The lyrics tell of dreams and dreams being killed. My friend also suggested the pure soul is what we hear coming from Ms. Boyle’s mouth. Not from it, but through it. I have to agree on many levels, yet most of the population probably disagrees. Let me tell you why.

Soul stirs within each person many times through a person’s life. Often, it is snuffed out by the over-powerful ego and mind. The mind, fueled by the ego that wants to be in charge, runs tapes that say things like, “You are fat, ugly, and no one cares.” “Writing a book is nothing you can ever do! Besides, who cares what you have to say?” “Nobody is happy at work, at least you have a job!” “Just do what your parents want you to do so they will be happy.” “Well, it implies in the holy books to hate people who are gay.” “I am not supposed to question things.” And the list goes on. Ego is what is responsible for our thinking that living in debt is okay because everyone does it. Ego tells us we absolutely must have the best and newest technological gadgets. Ego tells us we are not pretty enough, smart enough, and that we need to be on anti-depressants. Ego wants the soul to shut up!

Soul stirs deep inside, telling us to act out of love for those we don’t know. Soul is what softens us when we see, hear, or learn about someone that needs our help and support. Soul is what calls to us to paint, to write, to compose, and to create. Soul does not need the things the ego needs. Soul only needs to grow.

And this is where Susan Boyle comes in.

Sure, many people want to be one of the many and view the clips because “everyone’s doing it.” But for many, it’s deeper than that. I would be one of those many.

When a soul friend (one who lives with purpose and intent from a place deep and peaceful, truthful) posted the clip then another soul friend captured the whole thing, I watched it. Within seconds I was in tears. Tears that my children and husband often cannot understand, because they come from some place very deep within: the soul. The tears, for me, represent an evolution of the soul. Whether it’s my soul, Susan Boyle’s soul, my friends’ souls, or the eighteen million plus souls out there, it simply matters not. All souls are connected on some invisible level and it is that connection that will continue to stir until consciousness evolves.

Watching the clips continue to move people, even after they learn about her. How can it be that she touches people that strongly, that intensely?

What if this evolution in consciousness is pushing us right now? What if you know you feel a certain stirring deep within and you are afraid to pay it any attention out of fear of what it might mean? What if the invisible force of the soul is nudging you to wake up and participate more fully in the evolution of the consciousness of society? What do you have to lose by listening?

Susan Boyle was pushed to audition for that show. She neglected the voices of the ego telling her she couldn’t do it. She, despite the initial snickers of the audience, delighted the thousands in the building that night. She followed the call of the soul and went for what she knew deep inside since she was twelve years old, that she wanted to do. She followed the dream and did not allow her ego and all of society to kill it.

Could it be that Susan Boyle is a metaphor for all souls everywhere right now?

Hello Spring!

Hello Spring! It’s Nice to See You Again!

As I begin this piece, it is the day the kids in our area will officially begin their spring break holiday from school. It is only fitting that we take a peek into what that actually means. For kids, an entire week off from school is plenty cause for celebration but on a much larger scale, we do actually issue in the first day of the season during their spring break (March 20).

Spring is marked by the vernal equinox, which literally means “equal night” because the sun is positioned above the equator. While in this position, both day and night are practically equal all over the world. But what does that mean to us? It means that following that shift, that tiny little tilt, the sun will begin to shine more directly on us thereby causing the warmer (at first, but very hot by August) temperatures.

Many years ago people had more practical reasons for celebrating the beginnings of spring: crops could be planted and harvested, certain animals birthed their young, more daylight nurtured the growing plants for food and the longer days allowed for more outdoor activities and work when our ancestors did not have the luxury (and sometimes burden) of electricity. Those times have certainly changed, and if you ask people today what spring means to them, they will probably say that it’s just nicer weather.

It’s the time when all the plants are waking up; it’s the early morning following a winter’s sleep; it’s the beginning of a new season. Many of us will begin readying our ground for small gardens, while others will turn the sprinklers back on, have the funny blue stuff sprayed on the lawns, and make multiple trips to the garden centers for bright flowers to adorn the landscapes. It’s the most pleasant time of the year in which we actually enjoy the outdoors because soon, the heat of summer will creep in and assault us.

Yes, spring is certainly a welcomed time for many reasons. Isn’t it just plain funny that everything was covered in that blanket of white just a few short weeks ago? Now nature has thrown back those covers and is yelling to spring, “Wake up!” Let’s all get out and enjoy the return of this beautiful time of year!

I Survived the Journey!

Going on a journey inside to the real self is no different from traveling abroad on a multi-stop flight. There is a great deal of waiting: in lines, to go through security check-points, through customs, for the restroom, to load and unload, for the flight to take off, land, and the list goes on. For as long as you are traveling, there is waiting. It is your choice what to do while you are waiting. You can be annoyed that the waiting is longer than usual, you can be nervous that waiting in this line could make you late for the next flight, you can be angry that the weather interrupted the schedule you were on, or even that the passengers you must sit between obviously don’t adhere to the same hygienic habits as you. The point is that while on this trip, you must choose how you will handle all the unexpected or expected delays and stages of the international flights. This is not unlike the journey inside.

I began mine the only way I know how: with a pen and paper.

As I began journaling to my own center, I found the most curious sights to stop and explore: relationships with my sisters, with money, with my parents; aversions to certain types of people; resentments not only toward my husband in the earliest days of marriage but toward who I was at those same early days; insecurities surrounding my parenting abilities, my professional abilities and my overall persona. Just like with the flights, I was anxious, annoyed, angry and disgusted at what I found. Unlike the flights, I had no destination to imagine. There were no monuments to be sure and see. And there was no picture in my mind of what it would look and feel like to finally arrive.

When we decide to take a trip, we usually announce with zeal, to anyone who will listen about the wonderful places we will see, the foods we will taste, the overall experiences along with the departure and arrival dates. The journey within isn’t so easy. We don’t disclose to our coworkers that our inner journey will begin on Friday and last perhaps for a decade or that we are picking through things in our psyches with or without the aid of therapists or life coaches, or that we are trying to get to the bottom of why we attract the most heinous of friends. No, the inner journey is the long and lonesome one. The one that we never seem to pack appropriately for and the one that the round-trip tickets will surely get messed up on.

The thing about inner journeys is that sometimes, we don’t pack at all because we didn’t know were going. It was a sudden road trip. Things can startle our otherwise-settled lives and send us on a frenzy of sorts. Sometimes we experience IRS-type changes like divorce, marriage, death, job changes and birth of children that push us out of our comfort zone and into the tumultuous environment of the inner journey with nothing; no guides, no tips, nothing but the soul pushing us, whispering to us, sometimes screaming to us that things we’d accepted and experienced for the better part of our whole life were simply not going to work anymore. That is when we must have the guts to stay out in the cold, although the cozy routines are beckoning us back. We cannot leave the inner world unexplored!

When mine happened, I sought only to iron out some things within my marriage that had been speed bumps and detours on my road to happiness. But what I got was a complete grating of the roads, the rocky pre-paving surface then the smelly-at-first pavement that can stand up to so much through the years (but that always need to be examined and sometimes patched). I learned that I held guilt and shame over who I tried to be early in the marriage; that my actions and decisions at varying points exacerbated issues that should have been small; that I held an outdated mother-board within myself that simply didn’t work well anymore. And what I had to do was to muddle through the mire to decide what needed to be kept and what should be tossed in order for my journey to be lighter and more successful. I realized such things as the outdated tape that ran in my head telling me how things should be done to connote success and the whisper of a voice that had constantly tried to speak over that tape. I noticed that I had tried to achieve and to be things I really had no desire to achieve and be. I also noticed I had a list of improvements that only I could tackle if I wanted to truly be happy.

Yes, that inner journey began with a pen and paper some five or so years ago when I felt the urge to sort some things out. This trip, like many others, was initially fraught with delay after delay and at any moment, it would have been acceptable for me to abandon the idea of such an excursion. I mean, why travel if it’s going to cause pain, right? But all the pain and turmoil and chaos and confusion and work were there for me to see what I had done to contribute to my discomfort. If I hadn’t persevered as I began the journey, I would not have been able to reach this place which lay before me now: the land of possibility, the view of the infinite, and love eternal.

Ironically the journey is never over. It is not a means to an end. The tickets and passports never become souvenirs and there are no photos to boast about, certainly no t-shirts to sport that say, “I survived going into the innermost recesses of my soul and I am better for it!” No, the journey does not cease. But what does is the negative thinking, the self-doubt, the unending questions our inner chatter seems to throw at us. All that is replaced with a confidence that all is good, a certainty that we are all connected and then a determination to act out of love, kindness and compassion because what we do to others, we do to ourselves.

Now that I think about it, perhaps that is why many may never go on that inner journey.

Dissolve Duality

Duality of thought and action, of mental and physical, of spiritual and material... Let's all try just for one day, to dissolve the duality.

Look at how differently we think and act: Which is more in line with what we believe is the soul? The soul would not berate and belittle us, ever. So the voices in the head, the chatter of the mind, the shaming, guilt-inflicting voice we hear when we know we deserve to lounge around the house for a change, cannot be the soul. The soul comes across in a much more subtle way. It is the voice that you can hear when the mind-chatter stops to inhale for the next tirade of "should-dos."

The mental and physical duality can be as simple as knowing we should take better care of ourselves, teaching it even, but then not doing it ourselves. I won't bring in religion here but you could take it there as well. It's the duality of our conviction that eating healthy and moderate exercise is important yet we pig out on Oreos then decide we are too tired to take a walk. Let us recognize that because we ate the Oreos we are tired!

Spiritual and material duality is a bit more difficult for most of us to dissolve. We can see the material. It surrounds us always; all the things we can touch, taste, see, smell and feel, right? But what would happen if we soften our gazes? What would happen if we allowed ourselves to sense and feel those things we cannot truly lay our hands on? Would that really disrupt our lives? 

Today, I simply ask that you make an attempt to dissolve your individual lines and allow yourself to meld in with those around you. Feel your connections with those you come in contact with both physically and through computer interactions. Today, attempt to dissolve duality in your life.

Write On!

Today I approach this blog entry as simply a writer. A writer who knows the value in just allowing the works to come through, sans judgement. I am encouraging all of you out there to do the same. Don't worry with your content because people are going to stumble upon your work anyway. It isn't like you are the CNN headliner. So today, just today, I encourage you to write. I encourage you to open the conduit to whatever it is you believe is above and beyond what you can fully comprehend and allow it to come through. Just write.

As you open the gates to that which we cannot fully comprehend, let it flow. Let it out! Let it be whatever it is.

As human beings and as the top of the chain, we get somewhat full of ourselves don't we? We think we have complete and total control over all that is and all that will be but the truth is, we are here because we have a creative impulse. There lies within each of us a desire, either conscious or not, to create something. It could be new life through a strong sexual urge or it could be scrap booking. It is there! Humans want to create something new!

Cohen and Wilber are Integral Theorists who tell us so much about who we are and although not all the concepts are applicable right here, I must add that they do agree with the idea of a creative impulse. If you are human, you have it. And if you have it, prove it! Just create something... Today, right now, in an hour... Just create.

And for those of you reading this, I am assuming you are all writers so just... Write On!

Article From Local Paper December 24, 2008 by Laurie Knight

I cannot write the story about my own husband because he is with the Special Forces group and they do not like or want any attention called to their unit or their job. I cannot write my story because I am the one who holds the family together while he is away and I am just the glue, the sidekick; no hero status here. So today, I write the story of the children who are left behind to cope when their parent or parents are deployed in such far reaching areas as Afghanistan, Iraq and Africa in defense of this great nation.
Our kids, Connor 14 and Emi 11, are truly admirable people. For all the years of their lives, they have had to go days, weeks and months not knowing where dad is or when he is coming home.
The real travel began when our soldier decided to become an officer. He had been enlisted for a few years and during this time, had done little training above the obligatory one weekend a month and two weeks in the summer. He was a flight medic and also worked in a hospital. He decided to go to Officer Candidate School for Officer status so he began doing his weekends and extended time in the summer at FT McClellan.
Once while he was away, the kids and I had gone to the beach for the weekend and our daughter, eight months old at the time, fell on some seashells and cut her face. A trip to the emergency room and 16 stitches by a plastic surgeon took care of it but there was no way for me to have told him in our distance. I had to warn him, explain it and be the recipient of his feelings of remorse for not being there all at the same time he is grabbing her up and making sure she is ok.
His summers following his officer status began to fill with drill instructor type work to train other Officers so he was away a lot for this. The kids and I traveled to see him whenever we could and always they were the troopers. They were excited to see him, honored to call him their dad and at the same time, cheated that they didn’t get to leave with him. We spent summers in his company when time and money would allow it traveling to FT Sill, Oklahoma and trying to play family while my husband studied for the difficult tests and assignments he had as he finished all the required courses.
When the day that changed the nation’s security happened, my husband was working in a hospital. He called to say he wasn’t sure exactly how but that life as we know it would cease to exist. He admitted feeling a higher calling for a more immediate duty to the country. When the kids came home from school, we watched the television together so I could say over and over to them, “This is not a movie, this is really happening.” Then I took the time to explain that because their dad wears the uniform to help out in times like these, we can expect for him to have to do something. At four and seven, they couldn’t possibly understand but I had to tell them anyway.
After months of working as a liaison between the guard and the Governor’s Office, he came home to make sure I would back him on the long journey to becoming a Special Forces Officer which would of course require more time away from the family. I agreed to support him and make the best of it. Only when a man is truly happy with himself can he be everything the family needs as a provider and a dad, a best friend and a husband.
From 2001 to 2004 we lived together only on some holidays and some weekends. His training required his being absent then a deployment happened. We awaited word daily. I was forced to try and explain everything to children that they really didn’t need to hear. I never lied and I never made promises I couldn’t keep.
What they saw was a woman who was strong enough to be left behind to take care of the kids when a greater calling is involved. What they learned was that when you know you need to do something, you do it and your family backs you. What they exhibited was a maturity beyond their years.
Their soldier dad missed many birthdays and most holidays during those years. He missed lost teeth, skinned knees, and punishment for bad school behavior. He also missed tears at bedtime when the girl just wanted her daddy.
The kids realized that to be a United States soldier is a privilege that many countries cannot boast. They also realized that it isn’t a job, it isn’t a career, but it is a life. They learned first-hand what patriotism means and they have traveled the US in support of what their dad does.
In 2004 he applied for and got a National Guard job that called for him to wear his uniform every day. It was then that our family moved to the Trussville area. He had secured a job but I couldn’t leave the teaching position I had in the middle of the year so I declined to move until the year was finished. I figured it best for the kids as well.
His super hero status would break, I was sure of it. Once he was home daily and they had to listen to and abide by his rules, I was sure there would be some severing of the status he held but I was mistaken; it simply didn’t happen.
We moved here and within days after we arrived, he again left for training. He left us behind in a new city with no family, no contacts. He left us with nothing but a place to live and a town to begin to call home. What the kids learned was that you don’t sit around and wait for things to happen, you go find things to do. We set out and learned our way around. They continued to talk to him when he could call and maintained the tight line of communication they had concreted over the years via phone.
We were reunited yet again and within nine months of our living in the same house, he again was called to duty. Actually, he volunteered for this one. He had lost friends, had friends wounded while fighting our enemies, and could not stand by working in the comfort of the air conditioned office when there was a job to be done on the other side of the world. I agreed with his volunteering (though his mother still doesn’t know). This one would prove to be a bit harder for him because as a team commander, things were just different. He didn’t have the leisure to worry about us as he had his guys and all the duties that go with command to worry over and we learned that his job was a whole lot tougher than anything he’d done before.
The kids watched the news, asked questions, accepted my limited information as good enough. They began to realize that not all people in their schools or the community cared about the wars. They realized that not all are patriotic. They learned that their family is steeped in men who have fought for this country for as far back as anyone knows. They learned such terms as HOA, OIF, OEF, RPG, IED and ODA. They realized the media doesn’t accurately portray what is going on and they learned that their dad had done and continues to do a great service to this country.
This year brought a change for their dad. He is now working on the civilian side in the same places he has been for the military. He works right beside military guys. He tried to be home and work in the office but he couldn’t. He felt like he needed to do more.
The kids continue to learn more about the world than the history books at school can offer. They understand the deep roots of religion and how desperate people can act when they are faced with adversity. They also realize how it feels to watch classmates and adults alike disrespect all that they know of as good and right by not standing for the pledge or by down-talking the US military. My son said to me this year that he doesn’t know how to handle it when a classmate disrespects this country, the flag, his dad and him by not standing. He told me that our pride and patriotism and duty to this country runs so deep that he feels personally wronged when others speak negatively about the military or the country. And our daughter, I hear, tries to educate those around her always about what is really going on in the far reaching places instead of what the media portrays.
Yes, I cannot tell about my husband’s sensitive work or the groups he’s worked with. I cannot tell about his assignments, his battles, his comrades, the losses he has experienced while fighting for this country. I cannot tell of the other men in the US Special Forces because it is the quiet profession. What I can tell is that where this story glimpsed just one soldier and his family, there are many more out there whose stories will be shrouded in a world of silence.
Our kids, the kids of the military families, should be hailed and exalted for their ability to adjust to the craziness this life throws upon them. They should be thanked for being able to handle their parent’s separation and for their ability to maintain relationships with those who are absent physically in their lives.
Truth be told, if you ask the kids how it feels to have their dad gone fighting a war on foreign soil, they will tell you something like: It’s just what he does. No big deal.

To Simply Start

The new year brought with it many things for many people, mostly in the form of resolutions or ideas for change. Many choose not to write down their resolutions because they secretly want the choice to "opt out" when the going gets tough. As a life-long resolution maker and one who holds the self to such resolves, I enjoy writing them down. I like to look back at the end of a year and evaluate just what was accomplished and what fell through the proverbial cracks during the 365. So today, January 10, I resolve to simply start. Start whatever it is I want to do.

For this year I resolve to grow my spiritual practice, start a business, create a marketing plan for my first book, and work to achieve a level consciousness greater than what I had yesterday. They are all related, this I know. If I slip today, or tomorrow for that matter, there is no guilt or remorse. Simply put, I must start again. I am learning to build a business, learning how to structure a marketing plan, am deeply entrenched already in the spiritual practice and through all my interactions, I know that next layer of consciousness will rear its head.

As I learn how to use this blogging tool, I know I will get frustrated and quit. But if I but simply start again tomorrow, I can have this thing mastered by the end of December.

And if I vow today, right now, to write a new blog weekly then I will begin to achieve a network of folks who actually can teach me many things about all of the above. If I fail to post next Saturday morning, then all I will have to do is to simply start. Again.