Mirror, Mirror

The two kinds of work, shadow and mirror, bring different challenges to us throughout our seeking lives. Do we escape the real world to search our inner selves through the work of the shadow? Or do we use our relationships and interactions to explore the mirror? Each can certainly benefit us. The biggest difference between the two is that shadow work is mostly done alone and mirror work, like it or not, has to be done within the self through reflections gleaned from others.

Shadow work is tough. That’s when a person decides to explore the dark parts of the self, the part that gets in the way when things don’t go smoothly or the parts that trip us when things are going well. Shadow work, the way I have understood it, takes place by choice. I picture a deep, dark cavern within the self. That cavern has been safely closed off for years. The cavern sometimes has a loose stone or something else that alerts you then tells you, “Hey there’s something in there!” We dodge the opening, we bump into the wall from time to time but we dare not go inside because it’s dark and scary! So we avoid it.

  After some time, years, decades perhaps, we decide to see what it is that is inside. So we get our heavy duty flashlight and we step barely inside. Or perhaps we push the cover of the opening aside. If it’s boarded up, we might remove the boards one at a time, at our own will. When we tire of it, we leave it. Even removing a single board can be exhausting. And with the removal, sometimes it’s more like an avalanche; the cavern’s contents to come spilling out.

So as the days, weeks, months, years go by, we stop from time to time and peer inside. Again, when we feel the time is right, we get the flashlight. The thing about shadow work is that with the flashlight, we see things, scary things. But if we don’t like what we see, we don’t have to look at them. We can take the flashlight away and convince ourselves there is nothing there to fear. And that might work for a while. Then if it’s a big monster, there is always the chance that our blinding light awakened it and if that’s the case, we will never be the same. That big monster will not go back to sleep!

  Through shadow work, we take our time, illuminating each corner and crevice at our own pace. We can spend as much time as we like carefully unpacking the contents of each and every box we find stowed within its walls. It’s a lovely, opening experience. And as the cavern glows with luminosity, we can smile and warm to its objective of having kept all this safe all those years. We then begin to enjoy going into the cavern to explore and reminisce. We are careful to throw out that which no longer serves us, that which is too painful to keep. We are free to wrap and box up the things that might be dangerous but that we are inclined to collect for whatever reasons.

It’s very nice to explore our own caverns through shadow work.

  But the mirror?

  Wow. As we all know, relationships act as mirrors in our lives. They reflect back to us the faults and weaknesses, the areas in need of improvement. And as both gazers and holders, we have a dual job: hold the mirror up for the other person, and look around the mirror we hold, into the one our partner holds.

  This is different from shadow work in so many ways. Unlike the shadow, we have no choice when we get the reflection or when we suddenly find ourselves hoisting up some colossal mirror that seems like it’s from ancient castles. Other times, it’s a small, compact mirror that simply flashes up the reflection and then is put away for another time.

  Sometimes, we are moving right along in our routine we call life and as we round a corner, this huge thing is in our path. It halts our progress and we are stuck peering into some monster—oh wait, that’s me!

  Other times, we feel like we are the punching bag of a verbal tirade from our partners and just when we almost buy into what he or she is saying, we realize we are trying with all that we are to hold this mirror so he or she can properly see who is being fussed at. As we walk away from the conversation, we almost accept that it is us who is lacking in integrity, who is not forthright, who is somehow deficient then as we create space, the lights come on. What we realize is that it is muscle tension from holding the mirror. We rub our shoulders, sit and contemplate for a few minutes and we realize the words the other person uttered were not at us after all.

  And here is a good time to remind ourselves that we play roles in life. One of our best roles is that of mirror holder. It’s an imperative job, one that we truly cannot avoid. Our mates do not always like the mirror holder! And regardless of how often we think we hold the mirror, the mate holds it just as much.

  This applies to so much more than partner relationships. This applies to parent-child, friend-friend relationships as well. These people came into our lives for reasons of growth and evolution; it is up to us to figure out what needs to be healed.

  Sometimes we want to turn our backs on what the mirror holds for us. We want to believe with all that we are that that couldn’t possibly be an accurate depiction of us. We often want to escape the idea that we are one intricately connected universe of energy and thought and that the people in our lives are actually there for a purpose. We would rather fall back into former thought that our lives are individual, dual in nature. We would rather believe we are masters of control and power.

When we least suspect it, in the middle of a disagreement, we get that very quick flash of light that is reflected from someplace far away. It blinds us momentarily, long enough to stop our riddling of words toward someone we love and respect. We turn to find the origin and instead, we see a sliver of a mirror showing a very small piece of ourselves. And behind that mirror is the person we thought we were angry with, holding it ever so gently, while we scream and yell.

  At this point, we remember who we are and who we were meant to be.

  Yes, I will say that today, my vote is that mirror work is a greater challenge than shadow work. Shadow is invited and made to feel safe and comfortable while we get to know it. Mirror work on the other hand, can cause casualties of unsuspecting people on the course for understanding. 

May we all have the strength to peer into and accept what we see reflected back to us. And may we each have the wisdom to realize when we are holding the mirror for someone else, and know that we are doing so.

  Mirror, mirror on the wall … 

Suffering

Today I scan the news for a hint of something good, something upbeat, something slightly less than depressing. What I find is death and destruction, Swine flu outbreak, cutting of Pontiac and 21,000 jobs, and more suicide. I close the page. I want to escape the idea that we are entrenched in suffering or that we cannot escape it. I decide to walk.

As I walk, I realize a few points of interest. Suffering is a choice. Peace and happiness are also choices. Life as we know it and understand it, is also a choice. If there is any part of this which is debatable, I would like to hear it.

A guy killed his kids, wife and himself, after he "reportedly" mismanaged somewhere upwards of 20 million dollars that belonged to others. How does one get that deeply entrenched in suffering? Believe me, I have no problems with understanding suicide. I do believe that is an escape from suffering of the grandest scale. But how does one's picture of life get so torqued that he must murder his family before taking his life? Amazing.

I hear that America is now "watching" the Swine flu. And the restructuring of the major auto makers. And the governmental money. And the banks.  So are we to believe that the media simply wants us informed? Or do they want to invoke more fear? 

Through fear we suffer. When we fear we have no control, when we fear for our jobs, when we fear for our loss of status, money, power, we create suffering within us. It is there. It is tangible, it is palpable and it is threatening us to our very cores. But what can we do? What must we do to escape it?

And that's the catch.

We, as a society, feel we can do little to escape the suffering. But we can.

We can choose peace over chaos, in the middle of chaos and despite the chaos. All it takes is a bit of discipline. We can choose to be happy, joyful, grateful, even in the face of adversity. We choose grace and when we do this, we create the space for more grace to flood in. When we choose fear, suffering, and other limiting negative options, we invite more of the same.

Can we escape suffering? Like can we live in a way that will totally and completely leave no room for suffering? No. Nor should we desire it. Suffering is a way to help us to grow. Suffering can come upon us on a dark night without a notice, yet it can leave in the same way. We can see it, recognize it for what it is, and invite it inside for a spell. We can then turn to it, get to know it, choose to befriend it, then watch it soften as we pour love upon it. Yes, we can choose to love our suffering because it has come to deliver a message.

Today I challenge you to get to know your suffering, your pain, and your deep fears. 

Susan Boyle: A Metaphor for all Souls and Evolving Consciousness

Susan Boyle. Literally, she’s been an overnight video sensation. On every television and news station in the past few days, she cannot be avoided. Susan Boyle. I watched the number of views go from slightly over one million to something like over eighteen million in only four or five short days. How can this be?

For one, it cannot go unmentioned that she represents those within the population who does not have the “total package” we are conditioned to think one needs in order to make it. Past her twenties, not strikingly gorgeous in the physical sense, not anorexic, she comes from a place that represents a much larger population. What is the big pull of the world to view Susan Boyle’s clips? Why is the world suddenly so interested in her?

A magnificent and unexpectedly perfect voice came forth when she began that song that night. But many people have voices that wonderful. Could it be that Susan Boyle has something else, which is beyond what the world consciously understands at this time? Stay with me here people; I think I am on to something.

You see, we have a revolution in consciousness going on right beneath the surface of the material obsession we like to call society. Our American society is at a crossroads: our economy shows the slippery slope we have been living on lately; our new president has proved we are ready for a new America; the new polls and studies show that now an unprecedented sixteen percent of America no longer identifies with any religion. What is going on? And what has it to do with the sensation of Susan Boyle?

We are all souls having a human incarnation. Surely you have heard this before. Deepak Chopra has said it many times; it is echoed within the writings of more and more well-respected spiritual leaders throughout the world.

You see, the soul does not work according to the rules that usually govern American society. The soul does not care what society has which rules anywhere on the planet. Soul is so much more than people, feelings, events, or things. And it isn’t simply God either. God has been mistreated for far too long, his name misused, misrepresented, and misunderstood; I cannot even use it to explain the meaning of soul here.

And what does this have to do with Susan Boyle?

My friend and I have talked about the phenomena for days now. Her idea was that people are pulled for some unknown reason toward Susan Boyle’s videos, interviews, and her story. She believes the song also has significance. The lyrics tell of dreams and dreams being killed. My friend also suggested the pure soul is what we hear coming from Ms. Boyle’s mouth. Not from it, but through it. I have to agree on many levels, yet most of the population probably disagrees. Let me tell you why.

Soul stirs within each person many times through a person’s life. Often, it is snuffed out by the over-powerful ego and mind. The mind, fueled by the ego that wants to be in charge, runs tapes that say things like, “You are fat, ugly, and no one cares.” “Writing a book is nothing you can ever do! Besides, who cares what you have to say?” “Nobody is happy at work, at least you have a job!” “Just do what your parents want you to do so they will be happy.” “Well, it implies in the holy books to hate people who are gay.” “I am not supposed to question things.” And the list goes on. Ego is what is responsible for our thinking that living in debt is okay because everyone does it. Ego tells us we absolutely must have the best and newest technological gadgets. Ego tells us we are not pretty enough, smart enough, and that we need to be on anti-depressants. Ego wants the soul to shut up!

Soul stirs deep inside, telling us to act out of love for those we don’t know. Soul is what softens us when we see, hear, or learn about someone that needs our help and support. Soul is what calls to us to paint, to write, to compose, and to create. Soul does not need the things the ego needs. Soul only needs to grow.

And this is where Susan Boyle comes in.

Sure, many people want to be one of the many and view the clips because “everyone’s doing it.” But for many, it’s deeper than that. I would be one of those many.

When a soul friend (one who lives with purpose and intent from a place deep and peaceful, truthful) posted the clip then another soul friend captured the whole thing, I watched it. Within seconds I was in tears. Tears that my children and husband often cannot understand, because they come from some place very deep within: the soul. The tears, for me, represent an evolution of the soul. Whether it’s my soul, Susan Boyle’s soul, my friends’ souls, or the eighteen million plus souls out there, it simply matters not. All souls are connected on some invisible level and it is that connection that will continue to stir until consciousness evolves.

Watching the clips continue to move people, even after they learn about her. How can it be that she touches people that strongly, that intensely?

What if this evolution in consciousness is pushing us right now? What if you know you feel a certain stirring deep within and you are afraid to pay it any attention out of fear of what it might mean? What if the invisible force of the soul is nudging you to wake up and participate more fully in the evolution of the consciousness of society? What do you have to lose by listening?

Susan Boyle was pushed to audition for that show. She neglected the voices of the ego telling her she couldn’t do it. She, despite the initial snickers of the audience, delighted the thousands in the building that night. She followed the call of the soul and went for what she knew deep inside since she was twelve years old, that she wanted to do. She followed the dream and did not allow her ego and all of society to kill it.

Could it be that Susan Boyle is a metaphor for all souls everywhere right now?